A Fine Catalyst

We are not always aware of whom and when changes are effected in our lives. But when I met Dexter some six-seven years ago, he was working part-time at the Club. The first thing which struck me was his honest-looks, fresh face, and smart decorum. Then we talked about his name, which led me to recall knowing another of his namesake. It actually turned out to be his own Dad. But the years to follow drew us to our own myriad life experiences. Then a year ago, our paths crossed again, and I was able to catch up on this young man's life. He had just completed his national service and was working part-time again at the same Club, through a mutual friend. We talked about our separate experiences and as I did, I asked him about his own aspirations. I did not know then, what terrific influence he was to exert on me in the coming year ahead then. The first thing which struck me was his plain joie de vivre, his honesty and frankness. But he was also very reserved. As we spoke and exchanged thoughts, I felt there was a meaningful opportunity to groom him and give him a new perspective towards life, connecting with himself and coming to a greater appreciation of all manner of things around. But in fact, he was to change my own life rather dramatically. Firstly, being a natural athlete, he never felt any real impetus to have to try specially hard to be great in all physical sports. He had terrific balance, a good eye, excellent coordination, and a sense of humour and ego which made him simply a great buddy in the field and to break a sweat with. I was also to learn about his great love for motorcycling and motorcross sports, not too unlike an older brother of mine, Joe. He was a self-taught mechanic and simply good with his hands, and this was also reflected in his best friend, Don - an artful motocross enthusiast and mechanical genius. Dexter now proudly owns and rides a Harley Davidson Dyna Superglide. You don't ask him where and what he would be doing on any fine Friday night! Motocross aside, he now commutes fashionably in a Gilera Runner, too. What a modern urban male! But the short space of time I was permitted to work and get to know him well, led me to understand this young man's spirited heart and soul. It's refreshing to find someone who's deeply loyal and struggling to work out how best to keep his own sense of peace. I think that is the first thing which he extended to me inadvertently even as I was influencing him in his own professional development. Then, he was able to get me up and into what became my best physical shape in my entire adult life - fit, stronger, and healthier than I had ever been before. Which is rather odd, when you realise I am already 41, and 17 years older than him. Dexter Jr's still popular among friends and continues to inspire me to move towards and surpass the old and odd notions about my own physiological limits and whether emotional maturity has a specific threshold where Wisdom is absolute. Of course, we think Wisdom is infinite. I don't hear and see this young man much, now that our paths have separated once more, and we head off like loosed boats in a lake stirred up by a light storm. I recall his many musings and these still inspire me to keep going on, and feel great about these changes in my body and health. But there's always the lingering sense of a happy friendship that is fading, and the joys of meeting subside as our worlds don't collide or meet as they would. But within the necessary absence is a longing and a tranquility. Perhaps there is already a deeper understanding. No, he's not my brother, nephew or just a godson, or friend or colleague or trainer. He's really much more. He changed much of me for the better. A catalyst which refined me inside and out. Well, thanks, buddy - for getting me harder and stronger, happier for meeting and knowing you, and for allowing me to love you well as you move on ahead to cut new trails through life's great journey ahead. We will certainly catch up some day. Until then, I am happily committed towards achieving those dreams we talked about, and perhaps, our paths will collide soon enough and we can measure the extent of our own growth and wisdom. I think we can look for friends, but it's just terrific when they find us. We just need to keep our lives open, find time, and create opportunities.