Redefining Purpose

We are surrounded by influence of all sort: we grow up moulded in some way by what culture we adopt and believe in the values exerted around us. You can not claim to escape from any sort of influence, whether these give you a sense of being freed from something or another. Ultimately, our mind and spirit is a battlefield of influence, and the idea that you are independent of the forces that surround us, in the physical environment and what might be metaphysical. Just the mere thought and reflection, awareness and consciousness, brings us into a matrix of signs, symbols and ideas which form our basic language of understanding, essential for an exchange of perceptions and feelings, and this immediately limits our sense of individual freedom. Whatever our argument about the sensation and desire for freedom, there is just no escape from the influence of some idea that pre-existed before us, and exerts itself in our current reality. What is left which is original, to be discovered, is named and defined by some one and then enters into the universal threshold of our common language, creating its own gravity and effect on the intellect, and immediately aggregates and tugs at the minds of those who reflect the idea itself. We are immediately drawn towards it, and if we want, have to breakfree from its gravitational pull to fall towards some other idea or thought in the cosmological heaven of the mind. But the intellect is trapped inside this cosmos, which is not so readily defined by ourselves but by grander egos before us. The only brave might be the mad. The ones whose minds have warped around their own universes, and nothing else in this commonly shared universe matters to them. Not nakedness, not life itself, not how we (the others) live it. Nothing matters except their own reality. I feel this awareness; this otherness. But I can't quite trapeze over, my own being simply too familiar with the present gravity of this reality. You want to let go and flip over, and be completely free from the weirdness of this world, but it takes too much. Like the separation of body and soul; no, body and soul, which seem so knitted together that tearing it apart is like the uncanny possibility of forcing anti-matter and matter to coexist in the same spot without annihilation. All this makes for redefining the fundamental about what influence should indeed let be dominant in one's life, one's consciousness, one's being. Do we really chose, or we become and believe we can be free from all influence. Influence, like a breadth in itself, is something we need to have - like air - in order to enjoy the physical experience. You need to overcome the gag reflex from carbon dioxide building up in your apnea-world so that you can free-dive through life, one without breadth. It is a daring feat. To be free from influence: then, what will be so passionate about, after achieving this nirvanic emptiness?