I Know Tonight (1993)

I know tonight
that love, when it means anything, is most terribly obscure
like a flickering light
which burns constantly, yet fails to illuminate.

I feel, I know, and I should understand
Life’s all but imperfect, and
Meanders, wavers, stirs then deflect
Aspirations, desire, passion; reflect
My own anger and hate
And discover too late
The terrible emptiness after an impassioned wait.

Is it possible to love without full comprehension
Add patience, and build that grand illusion
That time alone should yield and tell
Of the dark, empty, abyss into which I fell.

I am but devoid of comprehensibility
This nadir of silliness makes all life grand
For no lower has foolishness ever put me
Floundered and keeled over much and sand
A wasted iota of love vanquished
I am happier dry, affection extinguished.


28 November 1993
After leaving The Westin Plaza, 12 am