Now Past The Throes Of Death

I have finally got down to disposing all the notes and original copies of work I have scribbled and jotted down in my early life, to trash these into the wastebin finally. For time and events have its own way to provide wisdom and insight which the vigour of youth is quick to presume non-existant. So, we throw away all the vagaries of our own juvenile indulgence. But I have blogged them here as well, part testimony to bear witness to my own folly and foolishness, fantasy and longing. For too long I have held on the wasteful notion that Love is what we yearn for, etc. the sad gothic lamentation of the Romantics. In truth, it is only in joyful obedience and self-sacrifice that we find ourselves ready and fulfilled, not in the manner of intellectual will or psychological contention, but through the interior life that we awaken, where a greater Power and Life is conceived and made incarnate in our own weak human shape. This is the fundamental element of truly "being". Those who seek this "enlightenment" through being still find the door open, but not to contemplate emptiness and the void. What is the "void" to human perception must yield to the infinite "light" of that experience, as the mind unfolding to the heart, as the heart dissipates into the reality of the spirit. This is the essence of experiencing our True Life! It is nothing like what all fake fakirs and gurus purport about meditation and "being" still and "becoming" one with nothing etc. Honestly, when they awoke back, what and where did they become? Falsehoods, are brazenly being preached to those "seeking" a higher "consciousness" in their yogic practices. In fact, the best yogic gurus do teach that the spiritual life is the final goal, and yoga is the ascetic diet by which the human form makes itself available to this Truth. Well, well. Anyway, it is along discourse in my own odd human journey. It is like I am finally at the threshold of Life's end. Death is one form, and the transformation of life from one stage to another. I feel ready finally for Death. Unafraid. This conquers life, too. We really need to fear less, especially those who preach nonsense to us and cause us to veer off what our plain, and truest nature makes of us. Who am I? I think the past two years I have struggled very much to listen to many voices that claim to guide and to illuminate. It was a great, and very difficult time, to feel abandoned and isolated, forgotten and disparaged, to have people who are lesser than oneself lay siege to our own courage by insinuating our faults and flaws. What they only really want to do, is subtract our dignity. For if they truly intended to give and enrich us, where is the reality of it? Nothing? Precisely, and that is the plain truth. I was asleep, and now I have awoken. Death was dealth its blow, and I am no longer held abay by fear of its sting. It feels terrific, finally, to trash all that garbage that has bottlenecked by life this past year, and let Life flow through once more, and breathe free.