That It Is So, I Wonder (1983)

that it is so, i wonder
why days come and go, ever
these pines litter upon the ground
leaves fall to heap around
revel to the bugle call
yet nothing really happens at all

unable to communicate
my nature easily break
unable to contemplate
beyond experience of fate
belief in God who’s dead
or probably just late

what use a will to live
(to struggle, survive
     is to deceive)
hopeless I state
‘life is a gift’
am i wrong or
just dead afraid.



9-11 May 1983
Written while confined to the medical centre sickbay at Pulau Tekong Camp I