O My Friend What Have You Done (1989)

O my friend, what have you done?
We have thought of you, the One
Above all the anguish pangs
Hero whom poets sang
When I was blind, you made me see
Notice wintry wonder around me
You dragged me out to appreciate
Express all I left unsaid.
How you liberated me
Whilst quiet, you, Prometheus bound
Tortured you whispered not a plea
How your performance astounds
Heave my heart to my mouth
Invent new hymns fit for you
Mightier than a cry, breath, hue
A reflection on true
You have robbed us of Life!
Unwarned, mocked us of love
Break from conformity
This deed you have done callously
Shatters fraternity
Weep I must, mourn this musk
That stings my memory
Sleeping, sulking, to saunter each dusk
Finds cause in this heresy.
O Beauty! Marred by deed.
Be cold as snow, silver as sleet
Love you as you go
Even ever more
As dampness invades my feet.



22 August 1989
0111 hrs

I have not known anyone personally, who have committed suicide. Yet the statistics suggest that there must be someone in the course of our lives whom we might know who would have attempted or succeeded in suicide. This is an exploration, if someone I knew were to have done it. It is possible that this was also inspired by the shock effect after watching Dead Poets Society, which I recall watching alone in a theatre at Surfers Paradise, located against the backdrop of the sea. I left the theatre close to midnight and had to walk back to the hotel complex, and stopped by the beach front where the wind, sand and surf was blowing in hard, and penned some of these words. It was just meant to release some very strong feelings aroused by some scenes in the film’s plot.